Monday, September 17, 2012

No More Mr. Nice Guy

My husband has always been a nice guy. What every girl wants right? 

Yah, he had that confident strong side that attracted me to him before we were married but it didn't take long before I life took a lot of that out of him.  I think he got to a point where he thought I would never see how disrespectful I was.  As much as he felt disrespected I felt unloved... I knew I was loved,  he showed me in many ways, but our communication abilities broke down amidst all our stress and we made each other feel disrespected and unloved.  He felt he deserved respect no matter what and I felt I deserved love no matter what. We were both right. If you have ever read the book "Love and Respect" you will recognize this as the "crazy cycle"... He feels disrespected so he acts unloving, she feels unloved so she acts disrespectful, and on and on it goes... until someone stops the madness.


 I also realized that no matter how  he acted I was supposed to show respect to him, the rest would follow. I don't know how many times I have heard women say (myself included).."I just want my husband to lead", I realized one day that a man can't lead unless the woman first submits.

Honestly, I think its a common process in our culture today... a girl finally gets that Knight in shining armour she dreamed of  and then she wants him to leave his sword and armour with his momma. You don't need all that man stuff anyways, you can just be nice...Pretty soon the girl doesn't even  recognize the man she herself practically emasculated.


I mean really, when you need a hero do you want the nice guy or the GOOD guy.

For me, I know what I want. I want the good guy, the one who will fight for our relationship and makes sure there is nothing between us. The one that commands respect by the love he shows. The guy who refuses to retreat into his man cave and instead faces our problems. The man who values the resolution over temporary peace.  The kind that won't fail to rebuke if necessary. I want that guy.

       I want MY  KNICE in SHINING ARMOUR.    

He isn't perfect and neither am I but our crazy cycles don't last as long as they used to and we get over things faster.

    So goodbye Mr. Nice Guy

                        Hello Good GUY.         

For more information on getting rid of that nice guy check out "No More Christian Nice Guy".


  1. Great post and so very true. Thanks for recommending "Love and Respect". I have never read it but based on your information above, I think I need to track it down. Congratulations on finding your Knice in Shining Armor.

  2. Hey Cat,
    Yah it really is a good book. I will probably be giving a review of "No more Christian Nice Guy" once the library gets in my order.

  3. "Love and Respect," changed our marriage. Loving your blog and excited for more posts! I will have to get "No More Mr. Nice guy" right away! Take Care : )

  4. Been lurking, enjoying your blog - welcome to blog land :) I followed your blog from Mick's at Husbandly touch.
    I've got a good guy husband as well, also somewhat new to TTWD as well. Almost a year for us though.

  5. So true! Been there, done that. Not proud to admit.

  6. Hi. I just found your blog. I have enjoyed reading it. I love that you both contribute!