Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Why we do TTWD

My husband and I have always believed in Christian values and that the man was the head of the home.  I for some reason thought I was following that belief and that I was submitting to my husband. I understood the ideaology but not what it looked like. He wanted to lead but in the wake of my defiance didn't know how. Oh, I began our marriage with a submissive attitude and he with that of a leader but it didn't take long before I stopped submitting and he stopped leading.

Around year 7, the year known as a rough year in marriage, we were arguing... A LOT. I was tired of fighting. We went to bed soooo mad at each other. I got up and in my hopeless anger I typed in my computer "my husband..." and before I could even decide what to put in for the last part of that search those little options came up and one of them was "my husband spanked me last night".  Intrigued, I read on and  found a group of people who followed a lifestyle I had never heard of, although deep down it had crossed my mind and I just thought I was nuts. ( I probably was. LoL)  As I read, there in front of me was the evidence that  there were people who didn't even subscribe to my Christian belief system  who were working harder to submit to their husbands than I was. It was a sobering thought. I began to realize that I was so far gone in how I talked to and treated my husband that I didn't even realize that it was disrespectful. And so it began...

It took me a few days but I wrote him a letter about this new tool I had discovered and how I thought it could help us. I am happy to say that he turned me down at first and said that he could never do that to me. I am also sad to say that he got over it and has no problem now turning me over his knee if need be. lol  He hit the point of no return ( no pun intended)  a long time ago because he sees how much momentary pain for me benefits us long term. I guess I have to admit that without it I wouldn't listen as well or be as willing to so look deeply into my behavior. I see the benefit, but don't tell him that.

Is he a perfect leader? Umm No.
Am I a perfect angelic submissive wife? Take a good guess.
 Do we think either of those are  ever going to happen ?  Ummm No. 
Do we have a better balance in our marriage. Yes.
 Do we both think harder about how important our roles are in our marriage? Yes
 Do we keep the little foxes at bay that  would constantly try to destroy us. YES

And there is peace knowing that we aren't giving up and that we will hold each other to very high standards and not give up.

And that's why we do TTWD.


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