I'm not sure who Scott is but if he got away with as much as I am he was a lucky man! lol
No really, overall I have improved quite a bit, I'm practically an angel.
I am in more control of myself but the mistakes I make are less out of emotional reactions than they are choices. I think that may be worse.
We have had so many transitions that he hasn't had time to notice or give consequences. Honestly, I think I may be too tired to receive them.
I used to get in trouble all the time and he was really on top of things. I think I am even too busy to get in as much trouble.
There is definitely a part of me that misses the constant accountability and there is definitely a part of me that is sighing relief because... my backside knows it would be a goner if DH has seen some of my mistakes.
Last night I actually yelled out to him in less than cordial way to tell him his sister was waiting on him when he was talking to the neighbor. eeek I couldn't believe I did that . I felt embarrassed for him that his sister had waited an hour to see him and she needed to leave, when i look outside he isn't in his truck. (Where the HECK is he?) So instead of just him being rude I had to add to it and yell out for him while he was talking to his neighbor ( YOUR SISTER IS WAITING FOR YOU!). I suddenly felt stupid and now I was the one who embarrassed myself. The neighbor must think I am a handful. UG
The surprising part is he didn't seem to notice or say a word. That is one LUCKY BUTT I have. LOL
I think he is letting things slide because he sees how hard I am working too amidst all the craziness. I see how hard he is working too and really am trying to be supportive.
I do know however, that this so called "FREE" vacation sent to me by compliments of "ScottFree Incorporated" will eventually send me a bill. You know... those vacation packages you "WIN" and then they harass you on the phone and eventually tell you that it does cost something. Those unfortunate souls (not me) who actually go to claim their "prize" end up listening to some really long spiel about how you can get a time share... blah blah blah. The BILL is coming... but for now its seems like I am ScottFree.
You are so well spoken here & so funny! Transitions in life tend to give us these "free" vacations. I think we need them & the grace to get through such change & growth. It's an amazing time that you will reflect well on. You are right eventually those hidden costs are revealed and you have to redouble your efforts to get back on track. That's okay, though, because by then you are ready. Good job at self reflecting and kind of keeping tabs on when you feel yourself sliding out of alignment of where your ideal reactions & actions are. Remember when you wouldn't have even notice? How far we've come!
ReplyDeleteEnjoy that free vacation but don't be surprised when it ends... Darn it! I agree with Sassy, good job at self reflecting. That is a lot about what this dd/ttwd is all about. Respect. I am impressed
ReplyDeleteThanks, I know it will end but eventually I think this stage comes where life just doesn't allow the time it takes. Probably when Ricky actually gets some sleep and work slows down he will "come to", then my vacation will be over. LOL
ReplyDeleteThanks! I hope that redoubling efforts don't mean doubling the belt up. LOL
ReplyDeleteTrue, I would have never noticed anything wrong with my behavior before and would have justified it. At least now we can see it so it can be worked on. YOu are such and encouragement. Thanks