Sunday, March 31, 2013

He's Waking UP...

He surprised me a bit. I didn't see it coming so quickly.  I thought I had more time.

 I think it will be one of the those slow wakes where you fall half asleep again, but really you know what is going on around you, even if your spouse thinks you are still asleep.

Let's just say it all began in the bedroom and he handled me quite effectively. He had me captivated.

In daily life my first natural  response to being overwhelmed is anger. Well probably fear, masked in anger. I hate having to make every little decision, even if they are small. Well,  he had the perfect remedy to that.

I didn't make any decisions in the bedroom last night and it was wonderible... It was wonderful to have no control and to not have to make any decisions, it was terrible to have no control and to not  have to make any decisions... even with my own body.

 It was freeing.

Somewhere in the funishment...he spanked me. It hurts more now because I am not used to it anymore. It had been so long I started to feel it was a dumb thing to do and an even dumber way to live life and marriage. Then, somehow it all felt "normal" again and I hate this but my brain turned against me.  My brain involuntarily starts to recall all the rules I have been breaking and I felt guilty and compelled to confess.

He told me he would tear my ass up if I ever put a whole in the wall. DULY NOTED ( I had kicked it once...when no one was around... I know I know. dumb)  I was like JEEEEEZ. "Do you want me to sugar coat it, he said?" Noooo, "ok then".

By the time he was done handling me... he was worn was I, in a good way. ( That"s all you need to

He said he will take care of those things I told him about tomorrow. Seems he is waking up and pretty soon he will be wide awake and I know at least one of us will be wide eyed.



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