Sticky Sweet

My husband decided to address a few things that have been bothering him and laid down the law so to speak. In theory I agree with what he said... "Be respectful, don't demean or disrespect him especially in front of our kid, and don't be demanding. Of course I agree with that!  Obviously...duh.  No I didn't actually say that.

He told me that he expected me to have a sweet tone especially when addressing him in front of or at the same time as kiddo AND he would be watching it closely. The problem came when he started giving examples that I didn't agree with...I don't know... I just find it hard to give in when he is listing examples of my "misdeeds", even when I know I am already getting spanked or even that it's true. I tend to want to justify my behavior off of his behavior. He decided to tenderize me a bit first then try speaking to me again.  I guess I listened a little better. Then he finished up on my backside to let me know he meant it.

So the sweetness test came early this morning. We all got up late which meant I had to get kiddo ready really fast. My little one was pretty easy and I put a lunch and breakfast together for DH so he could get out the door quick too. In fact I was kind of proud of myself for getting all this done in 20 minutes. I quickly became annoyed though when I realized that DH was on computer not doing anything super important. It seems they are always late and last year he liked to blame it on me. So I decided this year it wasn't going to be my fault if they were late. I have done a really great job of helping everyone get ready in the morning. So out saunters my husband and proclaims its time to go. I think the sweet Lucy just went out the door to go get donuts.  He asks me where kiddo is and I reply oh so slightly surly " back there somewhere". I surely didn't glare at him! Nope not me. He had started to go after the munchkin who was searching for an after school toy for mommy to bring in the car but instead came right back to me and told me to try again. I know, I know, I should have given in and been sweet but its just so hard early in the morning! I just couldn't. Sweet words could not exit my lips. I need some kind of Stormy clause...I don't have to be sweet until they have left the house for the morning! LOL  He basically got the same song different verse version of " kid is back there somewhere". He gave me the look and I know I am sunk. The thing is ... I used to be so sweet. LOL What happened.

Well after my two guys actually left the building it started to sink in.Our sermon from Sunday came to mind.
Bitterness deprives, Anxiety distracts, and Resentment opens the door to larger, uglier things. If we don't put away resentment and refuse those feelings then they can turn to Hatred and Malice... the big guns. Aw shoot. I was being resentful at my husband. The husband who works hard at his job that he hates everyday so I can stay home and be with our kid. I guess its not so much for me to help him get ready when he does so much for us. I shouldn't resent him because we both do things for each other.
 Now SurlyMe is mad at SweetMe for remembering this truth.

  Go away Sweetme because Surlyme wants to be mad. Shoot I can't. It's a sticky business but Sweetme wins... this time.

I know many of my readers may not have Christian beliefs but I'm going to tell you what I intend to do as a stone of remembrance for me ...I'm going to ask God to help me put my resentment away, make a choice to refuse my resentful feelings, forgive him for not using his time wisely( I NEVER DO THAT), and do something good to him. Perhaps I will choose to happily do the same thing for him tomorrow and not get mad next time about serving my husband. We'll see how that goes in the morning. LOL  That was so sweet it was sickening...don't worry SurlyMe will probably be back before nightfall. This being mortal thing is sticky sweet. 

I think I'll be so sweet he won't want another bite!

Mile Markers

I meant to post this a LONG time ago and forgot I even wrote it. Here ya go.

We've had a few mile markers of our own concerning the dd lifestyle but that is not what this post is about.

My son turned 5 and we gave him a Lorax party, it was great fun. We had truffula trees, lorax cake, and even little barbaloots. ;-)

 We have been stressed to the max with life and bills etc etc. but we just put a pause on all that and decided to enjoy the little guy God gave us. We had loads of fun. My neck went bad on me and I wasn't able to do all the things I wanted to do with him, like jump on the bouncy house but the sound of laughter from the little guy and his dad covered over that. It really is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear.

We think 5  years old is a real mile marker for a little guy and treated it as such. He really is a good little boy and we wanted him to know it. Daddy made him a bow and arrow out of PVC pipe. Don't worry, it was decked out in the way it should be for a little guy with twine instead of wire and dull tips. We will also keep the arrows locked up with us and he can only use the bow with daddy. The really cool part was when DH sat him down and told him how proud we are of him and how he is getting bigger with more responsibilities and more privileges. Then he talked about how things used to be and that he would first be a lad.. then a squire...then a knight. OR something like that.... lol


So now he was a lad and he would get to learn to use a bow with daddy. The proud and excited look in his face was something to behold. He really listened to all the instructions as DH taught him to use it. I think he will  never forget his party and those special moments he had with us.

 It's good to stop and enjoy the blessings we already have.

Fixing Fences

A few weeks ago my husband got bit by our neighbor's dog. No stitches but a pretty deep chomp. The dogs had been loose off n on over the last 2 years. They said they would fix the fence but they seemed to always get out. One dog was big but a typically kind breed and the other one was a small yappy dog. There have been many days where the dogs were out that I would  to drive to the mail box with kiddo to make sure we were safe. Inside my head was this nagging voice that I was being overprotective and that the dogs were fine and would leave us alone, luckily I listened to me.

So One Fine saturDay, we set out to clean all our crap out of the garage so we won't turn into the hoarders you see on TV or with a big bill at a storage unit to store STUFF.

 All I know is the paddles would be first to go in there... in the very back. LOL

Anywho, the little dog came over and he is the one I usually worry about since he has such an attitude and doesn't go home when you yell at him. So Ricky wanting to be able to work in our own front driveway with our son  shooed him back to his yard and rang doorbell and backed up. Then the owner opened the door and up came Cujo from his spot in the front yard.

 Ricky thought he would stop if he yelled at him but he just came full force and knocked him over. My DH was punching him in the head and doing anything he could do to get him off of himself even while the owner was trying to pull him off. I missed all of this. I still feel bad that I heard a dog bark and didn't think much of it and my poor DH was trying to fend off this dog.

The owner took the dog to quarantine right away. We went to ER and got DH a Tetanus shot ( I tried to get the doc to give it to him in the butt...lol jk). Crazy dog days.

We have a neighbor of good will but was just negligent on their fence. She was very ready to pay for the bills and do what she should. In the end she was crying and very sorry and was frustrated that she couldn't keep her dogs in. She was so afraid that everyone on our street would hate her. We told her we didn't hate her and were glad that she was so quick to take care of things.  We were also sorry she and her kids had to lose her dog. Turns out the dog has had other problems chasing kids in neighborhood. Guess my motherly intuition was right. I feel sick every time I think that it could have been my kid or some other small kid on our street. I am sorry for my DH but very grateful it was him instead of a child. She also shared with us that she is in the middle of a divorce which could explain the lack of fence repairs. She and her almost x both seemed like great people and I was sad for them.  We may just make a friend out of this and be able to be a friend to her.

 I have had minimal consequences the last few months due to so many unforeseen reasons...like dog bites. Seems our own fences are breaking down a bit, a hole here and there. Just small enough to make you think everything is ok...that's when disaster comes.  Ricky is ready to fix the fence and "board it up".  I think when my little yappy dog got out last night and disrespected him in front of our 5 year old he decided it was time to do a few home repairs.

 So tonight I expect we will mend a few fences.

 He's the only wood worker around here.

 Aaaah, oh well, I guess it's better to repair the small holes rather than have the whole fence break down and let the big dogs out.

Sooo not me, but funny. :-)

Gimp and Grace

Over these last few weeks I have been hacking away. My allergies turned into a cough and that cough has lasted so long it seems more like asthma. I found my old inhaler for last year's cough and put it to use and it seems to be helping, but for like 3 weeks I haven't gotten much rest because even the nights were filled with coughing. I had certainly earned at least 3 serious sessions in the closet but there is no way my dh would spank me and flare up my cough. Unfortunately Fortunately my coughing days are  nearing over and so is my period of grace. Although my neck tweaked really bad to the point it hurts to turn it at all, ( old sports injuries) so grace is extended for me " little gimp". I will get better eventually and he will surely take full advantage of my physical health to remind me what a healthy relationship looks like.
Gimp

Finding Mick

Hey there. I bet most of you know already but one of my most favorite dd blogs has moved to a new blog. Husbandly touch can now be found at

Mick and Lynda's Place  

 

Be sure to go see him there. He has such a balanced and real approach in my opinion.

 

MIA

Hi Everyone!
I can't believe we had just gotten started and then we went MIA already.  I'm sorry. I am hoping we can get back to reading your blogs and writing on ours. We both have new small businesses on the side, lots of doctor appointments for me with thyroid stuff, and just a lot of stress with Ricky's current job. Sorry for all these lame excuses... and last but not least allergies that are kicking ALL of us in the butt. Pun intended.

So that last post was from like 3 weeks ago and I know I was going to do some editing but have no idea what it was now.

Oh yes, dh wrote his 2nd part but was so tired he just deleted it. It just wasn't communicating what he wanted.

Hopefull we will get back into the swing of things.  eek

Lucy

Meltdown

Wonder where I have been. Here is a good picture...

                                          you can guess what's happening on the other end.

Sorry I have been so slow to get a new post up, it surely didn't mean that we have it all together and that I have matured to the point where I didn't need very many sessions in the closet. Not exactly.

In fact, I have had 3 this week...I think. Its been a rough week and its hard to keep track lol.

 Would you believe that right as I sat here writing those first two sentences I got taken to the closet? Well believe it, because I am now sitting on a red hot bum as I type this. That story later, first things first.

Ok so I hope you all don't think I am a TOTAL basketcase after you hear this story cause truly I am only part of one. LOL  I had a good go of it for a while but alas the side of me that is more like the  emotional TV character Lucy took over -- so I got my backside turned over.  Stupid ole Lucy got me in trouble. Lucy, Lucy, Lucy....

Round 1

Sooo...where to begin? Oh yah, found out about changes in dh job and handled it very well for a day or two so I could be strong for him when he needed me to be but apparently I stuffed it because the anxiety was building on the inside.  A few more stressful situations and my old problem of anxiety really started spiraling. I know that my hormones,  girl stuff, and my thyroid had something to do with it (and we are working on those) but I really began to spiral. I feel fine now but last week I was just trying to function.

The anxiety I was feeling was coming out by sometimes yelling or being snippy, and generally just tired of everything. We had home group with our church to go to on Wednesday night but I knew since it was the first night that dh would really want to go so I was trying to keep it together.  Every noise was driving me crazy and I was on total sensory overload. I made it through though and back home but not without earning some closet time. I was already in trouble for  yelling, swearing, and mumbling to myself instead of communicating. He was spanking away for that when he said "AND about the Bible study" and I was like WHAT? What did I do? Turns out as they were talking about schedules and all the things coming up I was sighing and moaning LOUDLY. Honestly, I didn't even know that I was. I thought I was just feeling stress inside about all the things to do. I was totally unaware of my outward antics. Though I have always been an open book and can't hide anything from my face. So he paddled me good for disrupting and probably discouraging the leader. I felt mortified that I had done that. I did call and talk to the wife and apologized ( of my own volition) and she said she didn't even notice and that her husband probably didn't either. URK ALL THAT FOR NOTHING.  Course I know he was right and I will be more careful in the future but it was all soooo embarrassing.  Our church has a motto : " you mess up you clean up"  then we forgiv eand move on and our church has had a great deal of peace. 

Well I may have acted a little nuts this week or so but my friend told me that "crazy people don't apologize" they just keep going. Phew, that was encouraging to know that I hadn't completely flipped my lid.


Round 2 
So I was coming down from my anxiety snippy week of hell for everyone around me and here comes crazy Lucy again.  Would ya just give this red head a cup of calming tea and call it a night!?

 We had just gotten home from a birthday party but blood sugar was crashing from hunger and I was trying to lots of things at once to get kiddo in bed.  I had started food for me and dh, started bath for kiddo, laundry into dryer, etc etc.  I just had to get something to eat. This is when dh walks in and asks me for advil...poor Ricky he didn't know what hit him...I told him I didn't know and wasn't looking for it. (He wasn't actually asking me to) but I got all crazy defensive and it turned into me being defensive about not losing it for him. BTW IT WAS IN THE FREAKIN MEDICINE CABINET....

I was already in trouble for stomping and mumbling ok and swearing like the not good church girl that I am and I was just adding to it. He asked me if I was just letting go becuase I was already in trouble.. I really wasn't but it was fairly unreasonable how I responded to such a small stress.

So he did let me have it and made it clear that I should be able to say to him "sorry honey but I really have to get something to eat right now and I can't look for that for you".  He is right. URK


Round 3

I made a choice I guess. We had decided that I needed to exercise regularly, not a ton becuase I was just getting back into it but twice a week in part to help my anxiety and because I have exercised most of my life that I needed to get back in the habit.  I just didn't go today. I just really didn't want to. I wanted to catch up on laundry and the house and clean up all that was stressing me out. I did a good job but I didn't do what we agreed on. I knew that I might be able to go at  night but it was hit and miss if we could make it in time and we didn't. We also had another discussion about that home group and I rolled my eyes a few times. To the closet I go...hence the one I got when I just started this post.  I need the accountability right now to do what I want to do for myself.  I think maybe some of my natural tendencies towards stress and anxiety were dealt with during my younger years with exercise... like 30 hours a week. I was a serious athlete. Now I am a serious mom and its all I can do to make it twice a week. Unfortunately,  Lucky for me I have a husband who will help me when I can't help myself.

For me stress and anxiety may be partly due to thyroid problem and other things like vitamin deficiencies that can affect it but part if of my reaction to stress is just my emotional make up and I am glad that I have someone to help me keep it at bay. I am fun loving, tenacious, driven, but sometimes my anxiety has gotten the best of me. My husband knows its not gong away but helps me to keep it at bay.

RIght now I'm skimming through a book "natural relief for Anxiety".. not my only approach but there are a few things that make a lot of sense. It talks about how when your body hits that point of anxiety the "flight or fight" mode kicks in. "Remaining inactive in the face of this state of activation usually intensifies your symptoms".  THIS I UNDERSTAND.   The book suggests exercise as soon as anxiety hits and this is also why I think this is why maintance has been a very stupid unhelpful approach such a great help. I hate to admit it but it calms me down and helps me get persective.

So I am in bed, typing a post, and feeling very very calm.
There are OTHER forms of exercise you know.. good ones. I think that should be my most frequent therapy. LOL.